It really such a relief...

 

I joined the praise and worship practice tonight. Thank God for the privilege of serving him through singing.

When I arrived home, I was already in my bed when I received a text message from my friend Abby.

I think for a moment on what should I  reply to her. I just then decided that "I'm absolutely fine" (though I'm really not. Sorry if I lied). Then She replied :

I have to think again fro a while on what should I tell her. Then I lied gain by saying "Haja.. Thanks. I appreciate it. Pero I'm really fine. Then her final message is : 

This conversation that we had means a lot to me. Abby and I were very good friend for a very long time. In fact Abby in one of my few closest friend. Yet she was right. Though we were very close, we are not that open to this kind of things. No, Let me correct myself. I am the one who is not open to her about this stuff. She can and was able to open up to me a lot about her personal thoughts and feeling but I am one who just can't express the pains that I'm hiding inside my heart.

Maybe because were different...

Maybe because She's a girl and I'm a boy...

Maybe because I'm older than her...

Maybe because I'm hypocrite. Pretending that I am strong and I can easily handle things for they have known me to be tough and wife man. (Which is absolutely untrue. For I may look tough yet there is a wear heart inside me).

Through this conversation I really felt her love and concern for me. I felt that I really have a friend. For the past weeks, I felt so alone. I felt that no one understands me. Like no one ever see me. It made me feel that I don't exist at all.

Thanks God for Abby's message. It really such a relief from my heartache.

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